


Conclusions

by emziewrites



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 15:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8451730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emziewrites/pseuds/emziewrites
Summary: Set after their conversation on the beach, Yuuri comes to the conclusion that he could have hurt Victor, or given him the impression that he should leave. So without any evidence to his conclusions, Yuuri rushes to Victor's room in the middle of the night seeking to apologise.





	

**Author's Note:**

> well this kinda came out of nowhere??? anyways, this is set sometime after the beach scene in episode 4 and yuuri is confused and anxious and cries a lot n sorry for that ;;; but victor is good at hugs :)
> 
> this is totally unbeta'd by the way ;;; mostly cos im lazy but also because i just wanted to post it ;;; hopefully there arent too many mistakes in there ;;;
> 
> note that: zvezda = star (found through google, searching for Russian terms of endearment. i hope i used it in the correct manner ;;...)

 

_“What do you want me to be to you? A father figure? A brother? A friend? Then your boyfriend, then?”_

 

_Your boyfriend._

 

He’d shouted in surprise, leapt to his feet and insisted that’s not what he’d wanted. That he wanted Victor to stay the same as he was now. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t the whole truth either. Victor to him… was someone who he looked up to, admired, had placed upon a pedestal for most of his life. The moment he’d shown up in his parent’s hot spring had been an eye-opener – and in more than one way, that’s for sure. While Yuuri still held Victor in his highest regard, he’d learned so much about Victor’s personality that the celebrity and fan status he’d felt for so long was kicked down a couple of notches. True, that status was now coach and athlete, but it brought them to a closer level and Yuuri had gotten so used to it, so happy with it, that to change it now… it would feel like a mistake.

 

Besides, he had a lot of things to accomplish and he needed a coach. He didn’t need anything else, not at that moment.

 

Yes, he told himself, the way things were… they were better to stay that way.

 

He just wished Victor would _stop_ sometimes. There were things he said, things he did, that made his head spin, his heart race, his very face burn red. He’d put it down to cultural differences at first, but Yuri hadn’t acted that way when he’d arrived. So he put it down to it just being a Victor thing.

 

But even that sounded barely plausible.

 

Ignoring the brushes of fingers on his chin or his elbow was near impossible, even if the touches were only to bring Yuuri into the pose Victor wanted for the routine. Sharing the hot-spring was something Yuuri tried to avoid, but somehow always ended up sharing one with Victor anyway – though he’d begun averting his gaze. They were men, it wasn’t anything he hadn’t seen before – literally – but somehow, seeing Victor completely naked now had blood rushing to places other than his cheeks.

 

He whimpered softly, rolling to stifle the sound into his pillow, drawing the thick quilt over his head.

 

It didn’t help that Victor hadn’t seemed to notice at all just what he did to Yuuri, and continued prodding and poking and making things so _difficult_. And for that Yuuri couldn’t even blame Victor for. He never said a word, so how could Victor ever know?

 

But he _had_ said something. He’d said _no_. Said it so many times, jumped out of his skin in utter _fear_ because there’s no way Victor could mean it, but for a fraction of a second, Yuuri hoped he had. He’d told Victor to stay as he was.

 

Remembering his words, Yuuri could say that he had articulated himself well enough and at the time Victor seemed to understand, but… what if Victor had still gotten the wrong idea? He wanted Yuuri to speak his mind and tell him things, but when Yuuri had done just that he had rebuffed offers for a closer relationship. And _god_ , what if Victor _had_ meant the boyfriend comment and Yuuri had inadvertently hurt his feelings?

 

He couldn’t stand for _that_. Victor was everything to him now. He wasn’t just his idol, he was his coach, a close friend… a person he trusted with secrets he’d never mentioned to anyone before. The person who believed he was good enough to leave not just Russia but his career to live in Japan. If he’d hurt his feelings, or even if he hadn’t, he had to apologise.

 

And he had to do it now.

 

He shot out of bed, the quilt flying into the air and landing somewhere on the floor and rushed to Victor’s room, having only just enough sense to keep his steps as soft as possible even as he ran, feet clad in thick socks padding on the floorboards. The door slid open without a sound and Yuuri closed it just as quietly behind him. Victor’s poodle raised his head, but was too tired to respond to Yuuri’s presence, settling back to sleep beside his owner.

 

Approaching the side of the bed, Yuuri felt the tears building in his eyes. Victor lay on his back, silvery hair splayed across his forehead and contrasting against the dark colour of his pillow, the quilt had ridden down during the night and Victor’s pale, strong chest was exposed for Yuuri’s eyes to admire.  He gulped. Like most things, this was going to be easier said than done, and as Victor – a surprisingly light sleeper – awoke, blinking blearily at Yuuri, the tears began to fall.

 

At the drop of a hat, Yuuri had become a sobbing mess and he felt like a fool for thinking that this was a good idea.

 

Victor’s eyes were glazed over as Yuuri stood over him, shoulders jolting and breaths hitching, tears falling thick and heavy down his cheeks. “Yuuri?...” Victor whispered, slowly sitting up, rubbing at one eye with his knuckle. “What’s wrong, Yuuri?”

 

Yuuri hiccuped, raising hands to his face to try and stifle his sobs. The way those eyes gazed at him, even when groggy and disorientated, was almost too much. “I-I just – ”

 

With a sigh, Victor grabbed one of Yuuri’s wrists and tugged him down, guiding him with his other hand to sit on the mattress, body twisted towards him. “Yuuri, calm down, Yuuri.” He breathed, stroking Yuuri’s hair, running fingers through the thick black strands. “Whatever it is, it’s alright. It’ll be fine.”

 

“N-no it won't.” Yuuri managed, choking on air and hanging his head, fists balling in Victor's quilt. “It won't, it won't, it won't.”

 

Victor didn’t take his eyes off Yuuri’s face, the younger skater glasses free and tears dripping heavily off his cheeks and chin. “It  _will_.” Victor insisted, slowly pulling Yuuri into his embrace, not at all minding the moisture upon his bare chest. Arms firm and strong around the person he admired and coached. Yuri had told him about the sobbing Japanese skater in the bathroom at the last Grand Prix, and had known it was Yuuri all this time, but he hadn’t seen such desperate sorrow upon Yuuri’s face before. It wasn’t so much a fright for him – though he was deeply concerned – but it didn’t mean he knew what to do. But he knew one thing for sure; whatever had triggered such a severe response, it had to be serious or Yuuri would have never concerned him with it. So he would do whatever he could. He let out a soft sigh to mask his yawn and huddled Yuuri closer, hot hands balled into fists on his waist. “Do you wanna lie down for a bit?" He asked.

 

Yuuri offered no response, but sniffled and snuggled further into Victor’s embrace, shifting a little towards him in a way that Victor took as permission to ease them back down onto the mattress, head on his pillow and Yuuri’s still pressed against his chest. Continuing to stroke Yuuri’s hair, Victor tried to think of what could have caused this, to maybe begin suggesting possible solutions, or to comfort him better. Could it be the fear of entering competitions again? Perhaps a nightmare? Was it something  _he_  had done? But then he supposed that Yuuri wouldn’t have come to him if he had. Still, he lay back, arm under Yuuri and hand idly stroking his hair, fingers playing with the tips of the strands, other hand firm under Yuuri’s trembling arm, humming for some time in the hopes of calming him with a Russian lullaby.

 

Ever so slowly, Yuuri’s sobs softened to heavy breaths, and then to nothing but sniffles, turning his head, resting his ear against Victor’s chest, eyes falling shut. The heartbeat was soothing, comforting, steadying. How could it be that it was Victor who had made his heart race, but also had the means to settle it as well? “Victor?” He whispered, words thick from his tears.

 

“Hmm?” Victor replied.

 

“Y-you’re not going to leave, are you?” Yuuri asked softly. “I couldn’t bear it if you left.”

 

“My little _zvezda_ , if I was going to leave I’d have gone with Yurio.” Victor replied. He played with Yuuri’s hair for a few more moments, not really noting the question fully, then it came to him. Was that...? “Is that what this is about?” He asked, voice alarmed. How did Yuuri reach such a conclusion?

 

Yuuri nodded after a long pause, shrinking into himself even though he was well and truly pressed against Victor’s side. 

 

“Oh Yuuri... Why would you think that? I promised we’d eat katsudon together when you won, and I intend to make sure you do win.” Victor stated firmly. “I have no intention of leaving until you do that, at the least.”

 

Yuuri nodded slowly.“I... I said I wanted you to stay the same... that I didn’t want our relationship to change. I didn’t...” He paused, taking a few deep breaths that Victor soothed by running circles into his back with a warm palm. “I didn’t want you to think it meant I wanted you to go...” He continued. 

 

So it was the conversation at the beach... Victor felt a swell of relief. This was something he could work with, could soothe without fail. Whatever conclusion Yuuri had reached was incorrect so it would take a firm promise in the opposite direction that could settle the uncertainty Yuuri was feeling. It may not solve the problem completely, but it would be a sound start. “I didn’t think that, Yuuri, not at all.” He muttered. “I want to stay here with you and take you to the Grand Prix so you can redeem yourself.”

 

He sniffled and then decided to bite the bullet. Gathering what was left of his courage, Yuuri rose on his elbow, barely meeting Victor’s gaze. “Victor... I just want you to know that... when I said I didn’t want you to change, I meant that I don’t want  _anything_  to change because...” Another long pause and he fought to maintain the eye contact he had with Victor, who stared without wavering. “If things change then I could lose you.”

 

Victor’s gaze softened further, smile swelled with affection, hands cupping the sides of Yuuri’s head. “Yuuri…”

 

“When you said… when you said you’d be m-my boyfriend I…” Yuuri unconsciously licked his lips and he couldn’t ignore that Victor’s eyes followed the movement. “My heart jumped. And stupidly I declined… because there’s no way you could mean it. But then I wondered if I had hurt your feelings too and – ”

 

“Yuuri.” Victor breathed, easing Yuuri closer, their noses brushing, lips so close Yuuri could feel the words being spoken. “I’m not hurt, Yuuri. And as for what I said: if I didn’t mean it, I wouldn’t say it.”

 

A shiver rippled down Yuuri’s spine and he couldn’t help it, he let himself relax, let his lips brush Victor’s. It was just a little touch, a brief moment of connection, but it sparked lights behind his eyelids as they closed. Then his eyes shot open, icy blue staring back. “Victor…”

 

Fingers carded through his hair, affectionate gaze holding firm. “I’ll be whatever you want of me, my _zvezda_ , you only have to say so.”

 

Another shiver shook Yuuri’s body and he hesitated. “I-I don’t know… I don’t know what I want anymore.”

 

“Decisions don’t always have to be made on the spot, Yuuri.” Victor assured him, pulling Yuuri down against his side, rolling so they were facing one another, tugging the quilt over them both. “Get some sleep.” He whispered, placing a soft kiss to Yuuri’s temple. “We can talk about it in the morning.”

 

Yuuri flushed, realising that Victor was saying to sleep _there_. His heart pounded loud and hard, but Victor secured his arms around Yuuri’s form, slotting the side of Yuuri’s head against the junction of his neck to his chest, fingers tangled in his hair. It was warm, it was comfortable, and before he knew it, Yuuri had drifted to sleep to the sound of Victor’s pounding heart.

 


End file.
